I used to have a good friend who had the curious habit of being rude to waiters and waitresses. As my pal through high school and college she had always been polite and courteous to me, but sometimes with others she was demanding and dismissive. At twenty-nothing, I just passed this behavior off as an anomaly. Then, one day it happened to me. She had moved to a nearby city, but was wanting to visit her parents for the weekend, and for some reason couldn’t stay with them. I was happy to host her, and even drove to the train station at midnight to pick her up. She complained about my limited selection of towels in the bathroom, and her comfort level staying on my couch. At the time I was single, living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment and only had one working bath towel set and a ten-year-old couch. I had other things scheduled for the following day, but since it was her birthday, I asked if she wanted to go out for dinner. No, was the response “I am eating at a restaurant with my parents and they don’t want to pay for you.” Kind of harsh, but okay. When I got home that evening, my apartment was trashed. The towels were on the floor and all the hair appliances where left out, there where blankets strewn over the couch. When I asked her about it later, she said, “That doesn’t sound like me.”

It was the beginning of the end for our relationship. When I got married a couple years later, she was upset that she wasn’t asked to be the maid of honor, even though she was living outside of our home state and barely had spoken two words my boyfriend/fiancé during the last three and a half years.

I bring all this up, because how people treat others matters. Even if they’re your family member or friend, it shows what they are capable of. If someone allows themselves to talk down to someone else because of their working status, or skin color or association, they can talk down to you later if you get re-sorted in whatever system they categorize humans with. Are you important for their academic or social status or are you seen as replaceable or disposable? It all matters. What people said during this election season matters. After hearing how people talk about immigrants or minorities, or pregnant women, or sick people, or the poor, I have taken a mental note. You should too, because someday you or I might fall into some category of dismissal, and it’s good to have a heads up.