When I was younger, it seemed to be the fashion to celebrate your fortieth birthday with black balloons and “over the hill” jokes. I distinctly remember a female relative of mine crying when she turned that age. I also remember it being super strange because growing up was supposed to be awesome.

I remember thinking about the future and imagining where I’d be. The year 2000 loomed off in the distance as a beacon of invention and innovation. Apart from the flying cars, it was the pinnacle of adulthood. In the year 2000, I’d be 24. I figured I would be married with at least a kid and a house, probably. Those numbers may seem silly now, but for 80s kids it wasn’t too crazy. Lots of people got married a few years after high school and started families.

But then I grew up. I got a job during high school working at McDonalds and I low-key hated it. Not the money or independence, but lack of creativity and imagination. My hair smelled of cigarettes and fry-grease every night. Most of my slightly older coworkers drank on the weekends for entertainment. They dated each other, and if things went well, got an apartment together. It wasn’t the future I wanted, I felt there was more.

My Dad had traveled when he was younger. It was when he was in the army during the Vietnam war, so it was somewhat compulsory. The main reason he avoided the shooting and getting shot at part was his higher education. He went into service after college and therefore had some options. He was more valuable with a typewriter than a gun. I saw my life looking better with books rather than a fry basket.

The last year of high school, I studied with focus. I got to go to college. That “piece paper” opened up opportunities in more creative and interesting jobs here and overseas. Armed with a degree and laptop, I have gotten to go all sorts of places and meet all kinds of people. Right now, I am helping adults get qualified to start second or third careers. Higher education isn’t just an option at eighteen.

I am turning 46 today. I am finally circling back to my 1980s dreams of a house and kids. I am learning how to play piano and garden. I ran my first 5K this year. I won’t be celebrating this birthday with black balloons or crying. I feel like I am just starting out on another adventure.