When I was an adolescent, I was nervous about going to the doctor, but my middle school required a trip to the clinic before participation in after-school sports. Everything was going fine, but apparently, I winced while the doctor was prodding my abdomen. When asked asked if it hurt when I peed, I lied, “No.” I was prompted to give a urine sample to the nurse. Sure enough, it showed a bladder infection and I was given a round antibiotics. My secret, embarrassing problem was quickly cleared up and I was ready to play volleyball with all my friends. I vowed never to lie to my doctor again.

I had not thought of that incident for years until recently when a longtime couple in our church, out of the blue, quit attending and split up. They had seemed like the perfect family. They were always well-dressed and sat in the front row. The husband was a greeter and the wife lead Bible studies. My husband and I had attended the parenting class they taught together. For what it’s worth, they raised three healthy, well-behaved kids. But what no one could see and what they didn’t let on to was that their marriage had a raging UTI. I know it’s a graphic metaphor, but what is the point of going to church if not to be healed from the hurt and helped with the hardship in our lives?

I am not going to further speculate what happened with that particular couple, but we can draw a lesson from the situation. When it’s time to ask for prayer or share your struggles, do you act like you’re above it all? Do you pretend that you aren’t hurting when no one is looking?

Here’s the thing about being part of a Christian congregation, it doesn’t function at full capacity unless the participants are will to humble themselves and ask for help. To get help, you have to let others in. We were willing to share our struggles in parenting, and by doing so obtained both spiritual and practical help. Like I learned from my trip to the clinic, you can’t obtain a prescription unless you are willing to admit you aren’t in perfect condition.

Part of being a faith community means being vulnerable. Otherwise, we reduce our church experience to a social club, and while it’s nice to be well-thought of, it’s better to be healthy and whole.