Now in the second month of the fourth year of the presidency of Biden, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to Alabama to the state Supreme Court. “Greetings favored ones!” And they were greatly troubled.

The angel replied “Do not be afraid for behold, you will all be given wombs where you will each carry a blastocyst you have called human by your most recent decision.”

The judges replied “How can this be since we are mostly men?”

The angel answered, “I have already reduced your pay by 17%. You shall raise the child as your own in the worst neighborhoods of your home state. Your work shall be compensated to the lowest minimum wage, and your medical coverage will be whatever least the law allows. When the time comes for you to birth your child, you shall receive all the family leave pay legally allowed and your childcare will likewise be provided. Your child shall attend local public school.”

The court immediately called for a new amendment to be drafted and the angel departed from the building.

This is going to get me banned from a whole state.