According to JD Vance’s book Hillbilly Elegy, is how he treats the women in his life. I was impressed with the sentiment, until I heard him speak disparagingly of childless cat ladies in the public sphere. His audiobook that I just listened to him narrate, is all about the struggles of his grandmother, mom and sister who had children super young, sacrificing their ambitions to work in order to make ends meet, and take care of him. Despite acknowledging their sacrifice, he doesn’t seem to have much grace for women who delay childrearing in order to follow their dreams and make something of themselves outside of the home.
During most of my full-time working years (21-35), my demographic was single, childless and I did have a couple of cats. As such, I was super devoted to my job and could come in earlier or stay late without having the obligations of family. Now that I am married with kids and a dog, the knife cuts in the other direction. I have the acceptance from more of society, but less time available to work in the public sphere. Between the requirements of being the primary caregiver and the cost of childcare, I only work very part-time these days.
I remember the year after I got married, I was working full-time in an industry dominated by men. My employer hosted a barbecue lunch and the workers were encouraged to invite their families to join them. All these moms my age came with their kids and I started to realize that when we had kids, that I might not get to continue my career at the same level. That was my last full-time job in 12 years.
As for the leaders Vance names in the Tucker Carlson interview, one is 34 and single, which has never been a shameful age of childlessness for men, and the other two are actually parents. Kamala Harris, is a step-mom which is an important but underrated role in our society and Pete Buttigieg (a gay man) has adopted two children. Both roles deserve credit rather than scorn. The rest of us are still on the hunt for candidates that will respect and represent our constituency.
