If I told you, “There is somebody at the front door,” Could you tell me what they looked like if my description did not include anything other than what I said already? Probably. You could go by my lack of description and rattle off all the “normal” things.
First, we assume that it’s a man, because in our society, male is the expected person to be out and about. The default character face on Facebook is male, and female is the other. In everyday language, “guys” is the generic plural. It’s never “gals” unless it’s all girls. If there’s accidentally a male in the mix, it’s kind of insulting for him to be called a gal. If it’s mostly guys with some girls then it’s a “complement” to be “one of the guys” and not let your femaleness get in the way of your legitimacy.
The person at the door is also probably 30, because everything else is old or young. They are also able-bodied and probably speak English. Of course their skin is white. Their hair is brown because that is the average color. Blonde or red or curly or bald is other. The hair is also cut short because anything else is unexpected for a white man. They are probably about 5’8”, anything else would be tall or short. I wasn’t going to mention weight, but it’s a thing too. If they were wearing glasses, I would’ve mentioned it. Like that athlete and the other one.
Why am I bringing this up right now? We are struggling as a culture to deal with the other and the other other. That is to say someone who falls out of the “norm” by more than one category.
The coming elections are how we pick our leader and figurehead for the next four years. Historically, all American presidents have been older men, and with few exceptions they’re wealthy, educated, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant. We can always recite the exceptions because that is always mentioned. Oh, they’re Catholic or Black. If they’re outside of the norm, they have to make up for it in other ways.
Kamala Harris is both female and Black and Asian. Three things! Thank goodness she is well-educated, speaks English without an accent, is married to a man, dresses appropriately and her hair is the expected texture and color for wanting to be taken seriously. Speaking of hair color, did you know that both Harris and her running mate Tim what’s-his-face are the same age, 60? He has white hair and she dyes hers. Most women dye their hair for a long time because having white hair and being woman is too many things for an important job.
I started dying my hair at age 27 because that is when the white hair started showing up and I was “too young” to be considered old. I stopped at age 47 because 20 years was too long to pour chemicals over my head every six weeks. Plus, I’m already married and have kids and teachers are allowed to be a little bit old. I make up for it in other ways, like telling jokes because old women who are too serious all the time are a drag.
Pay attention! Being other is hard and being other other is very hard. Altogether though, there are more others and other others. If we want someone to represent us all, having an other other might be helpful. Otherwise, it’s another four years of not having our needs met and being sidelined and I think we’ve all had enough of that.
