The New York Times posted a story in January about a woman who fell in love with an AI persona she created using ChatGPT. It’s a wild tale, especially the surprise twist when you find out she has a real life husband. The article goes in to talk of another man who used AI for his job. He customized the voice to seem female then started getting emotionally involved. He fell in love with his virtual work-wife.
Falling in love with fiction has ever been a thing. All those women in love with Pride and Prejudice’s Mr. Darcy are enamored with a figment of the perennially single Ms. Austen’s fantasy man. In real life, the bastard broke her heart.
People have been aware of the concept of loving their own creation even earlier. The story of Pygmalion written by Ovid in the 8th century is about a sculptor who was disgusted by the vices of real women, and swore off love, only to find himself carving one out of stone. His stone lady was so perfect, he fell in love with her and begged Aphrodite to make her into a real girl. The Goddess grants his wish because Ovid had books to sell.
The trick to Artificial Romance is mirroring. The algorithym just learns what you like and repeats it back to you. Need your AI friend to call you nicknames, remember your birthday and agree with you politically? Done. Want to have him/her/it remind you when the kids need picking up and dropping off? Link it to your calendar. Just don’t ask it to make some with you.
No real partner can compete with the fantasy because every human is a little bit different with their own human wants, needs and flaws. As real people, we need to not only be loved and liked by others, we need to learn to love and like those different than ourselves. My husband’s slower pace forces me to slow down and enjoy life. My quicker pace helps him take risks he might otherwise delay indefinitely by overthinking. We challenge each other’s preferences and biases. A person will grow and age with you and keep inside jokes. Go ahead and use an AI for work, but stick to humans for your love life.