“Always be the first to apologize, it’s about taking control and moving forward. ‘It’s my fault,’ means if it is my responsibility, I can fix it.” Brandon Hall

Blame taking is an act of leadership. If something is my mistake, then I have the power to change it. If it is someone else’s fault or simply bad luck, then there is nothing I can do to change the outcome of my story. 

An example is being late. If it is the fault of the traffic or my car breaking down, then I am powerless to forces beyond my control. If I take the blame and my power back, then I can schedule car maintenance on the weekend and leave home earlier on weekdays so I will be on time.

Taking responsibility means being open to changing myself. It means giving up short term pleasures of staying up late or sleeping in for the accomplishment of arriving early. It is less exciting paying for an oil change instead of eating at a restaurant but the reward may be better. The world is less likely to change, so I have to adapt in order to survive and thrive. 

Blame taking may also be useful in relationships. Recently, we had our car insurance auto renewal fee hit our checking account, we weren’t prepared so it bounced. It is tempting to blame my spouse because he usually takes the lead when it comes to four-wheeled objects. However, the act of offloading blame undermines my power. As co-leader of the house, I don’t have to be a victim. Moving forward I can take responsibly and act to avoid this happening in the future. I can add a reminder to my calendar for five and a half months out so we won’t get caught short in September, a time when we will have lots of things going on. 

I can to be the hero or victim of my own story. If I don’t like how the path is going, I can blaze out a new one. 

Working from home fixes that traffic problem.