Jacob overhears his brothers-in-law complaining about him. They are saying he is stealing their inheritance through the sheep-breeding competition he and Laban are locked in. Jacob sees that his goodwill has run out and it’s time to go.

God confirms that Jacob should take his family home and that he will be with them. Jacob tells Leah and Rachel about his struggles with their Dad over the sheep and goats, and about his plan to go home. They ask whether there is any inheritance for them. You can feel their frustration at being used. 

“Are we not regarded by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and he has indeed devoured our money.” Genesis 31:14

Jacob packs up all his kids, wives, and flocks. Quietly, Rachel steals her father’s household gods. They set out across the wilderness while Laban is busy shearing sheep.  After three days, Laban realizes they are gone and chases them down. He feigns sadness about not being able to say goodbye to his family, but is actually searching through all the luggage for his missing treasure. Rachel hides them under her camel’s saddle, sits on it, and says she can not rise because “the way of women” is upon her. She is, to the end, her father’s daughter. 

Jacob confronts Laban, telling him he has labored fourteen years for his wives and six years for his flocks, even as Laban changed his wages ten times. Laban asks them to make a covenant where he will let them go if Jacob promises not to oppress his daughters or take additional wives. They build a stone pile together. Laban calls it Jegar-sahadutha, meaning “heap of testimony” in Aramaic, and Jacob calls it Galeed, meaning the same in Hebrew. They eat together, and the next morning Laban kisses his daughters and grandchildren goodbye.

Families are messy, and this is just one Biblical example. Just a chapter ago, Laban said God had blessed him through Jacob, but now he is calling him a thief. Jacob finally stands up for himself, and Laban seems to respect and agree to it. You can love your family, but sometimes you have to make some space to find your peace. 

What is under the surface?