Yesterday Tim and I got a rare chance to lunch together. In the summer we had the kids and the rest of the time Tim is usually driving over the road. Instead, we had the rare combination of the kids at school and him driving locally. It felt like back when we were dating before marriage and kids. Just the two of us buying pizza by-the-slice together at Jersey Girl Pizza.

It is a sports bar, and an image of Taylor Swift and her famous football husband flashed across a screen. Tim commented about how they’re both tall. I wondered out loud if he will be able to handle her fame when his career ends. No shade, but usually football players don’t work past their mid-thirties. Singers can usually keep going till they croak. Either literally or figuratively. 

Plus, she makes so much more money and lots of men can’t handle more famous wives. It seems like there are a good portion of people out there are struggling over the roles of men and women in marriages. 

Later in the evening, we had a dinner together with the kids and they shared their second of day school stories with us. The late evenings are usually final big push to get the house cleaned up and everyone off to bed. I was totally tapped out and was grateful that Tim tucked in the kids and shut down the house. 

A lot of marital issues are about control. Who is going to steer the ship and who is going to work the oars. This imagery comes from the somewhat recent Odyssey movie. In the end, though it often comes down survival. Sometimes one of you is better at reading the map or navigating the stars or tying knots. I don’t actually know how ships work. Sometimes one or both of you has made a bad call and now you’re facing sea monsters or, God forbid, sirens. 

Whatever. The ultimate question is how are both of you with a bucket when your shared sea craft is taking on water? Will your fellow sailor bail water or will they bail out?